Jul 11 2008
Reacting to Synchronicities – When it’s time to take control
Alright, I read all my past posts yesterday, then gave myself a whole day to digest it all, and now that’s been done, I have firmly decided to do something about the situation. Being a passive spectator of all those freaky coincidences no longer suffices, and I feel I must now react and do something about it to finally make things move forward. If not to be with him, then at least for my own curiosity’s sake, and the satisfaction of finding out the truth behind it all. I am determined to figure out whether this phenomenon really is a cluster of “signs”, or simply tricks of our imagination.
I Googled the subject some more today, and found the results quite frustrating. I basically found:
- people who were in the same situation as me and wondered what was happening to them
- New Age websites continuously mixing up synchronicities with soulmates, claiming they are well understood facts, and seriously explaining how they’re linked to past lives …. blah blah
Uhm, no. Those aren’t answers. And while the past lives topic seriously makes me cringe, I also have to face the fact that it doesn’t look like regular every day confused people – like you and me – have really looked into this yet, or have even attempted to figure it out. Not even on their own personal level (as I’m aware it’s really hard to generalize conclusions and apply them to everybody, since every life is different). I’m no expert in anything, and neither are the people who come to this website looking for answers. New Age theories bore me, and they are actually quite pointless. Because what matters is finding out how far things can really go in real life and in practice. I will find out soon whether my proactive reaction to these synchronicities is the dumbest mistake ever or an amazing leap of faith with great results.
As mentioned in my very first post about the subject: I am very careful about the whole soulmate concept, and I don’t feel comfortable labeling my experience as such yet. The facts are: I have consistently bumped into coincidences revolving around the same person, sometimes to an almost surreal point, but that’s all I know for now, and that’s all I’m gonna have to work with.
I have decided to handle this very objectively, and although it may be hard, I have to keep myself on track without getting carried away by emotions. At least within reason … :p I will now explain my 2-step list of how I’m planning to handle it, and concretely react and take control of the situation.
- Step 1: Keeping in touch with reality
I started a file on my desktop; it’s a list of all the memories I have involving him, back when we interacted on a daily basis. I found it vital to put it all down, and remember the good and the bad days. What felt great, and what felt bad. What he did, and what he didn’t do. What I said, and what he said. Every memory is a precious piece of my puzzle. I realized I had only kept a limited number of memories in mind, which gave me a rather narrow view of what the real situation was several years ago. The rest had been pushed so far back in my head that I had almost forgotten it completely, and now that I have started this list, memories are slowly starting to pop back up. Things I had completely forgotten, interesting memories that didn’t seem meaningful back then and which now look like they might actually be quite important. Our memory is selective, it’s important to gear it back into wide open/neutral mode. Because every piece matters. It also makes me realize that things with him have never been a flawless fairytale, and that certain things did go wrong. They went wrong for a reason. I don’t know all the reasons yet, but this list is slowly helping me figure them out. To my biggest surprise, it has also made me realize my own flaws. Things I didn’t handle right, opportunities I didn’t take when I had the chance to, partly because I was too young and inexperienced. They’re things I know now, and mistakes I wouldn’t make again, and that is already a valuable lesson.- Step 2: The plan
Since all those coincidences seem to be centered around this one person, only one reaction sticks out as the most obvious: getting back in touch with him, somehow. He seems to be the center of it all, so I must get to the core of this; which is him. I made a list of all the different ways I could possibly contact him:
- I have his phone number
- I have his e-mail address at work
- We have a friend in common (although she doesn’t seem to see him much anymore)
- I live near his work
- He plays in a local band; which has a website with future gigs listedThese are all possibilities for me to either meet him or get in touch with him. Now I have to weed through the list, and decide which would be the most appropriate options and put them in that order. For instance, I dumped the e-mail at the bottom, because it’s stupid to even consider it … “Hello, I just found your work e-mail address and figured I’d say hello … after almost a decade”. Awkwarddd. It also screams “lame and pathetic”, because hiding behind a screen has never been too memorable.
I put our common friend at the top of the list, because it’s a nice way of getting back in touch with people. It’s not awkward and it flows more naturally. So I think I’ll try to push things in that direction first and see how it goes. If it fails, I’ll move on to option 2, and so on. I’m still not sure I’d want to go as far down as e-mailing him though, hahah!
It also feels important to me not to strictly consider him in a romantic way, because maybe there is another purpose behind it all. And although I admit he does look really appealing to me, I have already accepted that we could simply be friends, and that would be perfectly okay.
I have also decided to use this blog as my little motivation diary. It’s easier to stick to things and get them done correctly when you write them down and share them publicly. I’m sure I’ll need. First step for me now: calling our common friend. I haven’t spoken to her in a while, so we should definitely meet up for a drink soon, and then I’ll have to play it by ear as far as he’s concerned. Fingers crossed!
I am totally besides myself at this point in reading your story. I am stunned, flabergasted, in disbelief and completely lost for words all together at the incredible similiarities, or more so, almost close to the IDENTICAL experiences you and my closest girlfriend have undergone!!!!!!!! This is so TOO surreal and after reading your story for a moment I felt as if I was reading my girlfriend’s story. I really wish there was a way of the two of you contacting each other aside from this website……
It is also very strange how you and her were going through the same experiences just about the SAME time. My poor girlfriend has been struck over the head with a MULTITUDE OF COINCIDENCES that constantly keep reminding her of one individual who she has not spoken with in quite some time. She keeps being hit over the head with CONSTANT REMINDERS……At one point she was questioning her own sanity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She has been tormented with these frequent reminders/coincidences almost consistently and she has been in a stage of confusion not certain of what she ought to do. It is an uncanny resemblance to the incidents you explained in your story. One thing I must say is that my friend has made numerous attempts to contact this person however she has not received any replies but she still comes across so many unexpected coincidences that practically scream at her reminding her of this person even when she is NOT thinking of this individual…….I personally believe that these signs are messages from above but how frustrating is it when we do not understand the language of these messages……
I have been losing sleep trying to decipher the meaning behind all of the messages/ coincidences/ signs that are consistently being sent to my girlfriend with hope that one day soon she can figure out or at least obtain some answers as to what she ought to do.???
Please keep us updated on any outcomes of your attempts to act upon the signs which were sent to you. I suggested to my girlfriend for her to ask out loud one night for the universe to send her a more specific clear cut answer as to what she needs to do. She shared with me that she asked for an answer to come to her in written words instead of an unclear coincidence. It turns out that the very next day she came across your blog where you stated that you had finally decided to contact your friend. Maybe that was the answer my girlfriend needed???? It was in written words as she asked… She has been for the longest fighting the feeling of contacting her friend again after such a long time but she can’t seem to stop these coincidences from coming her way…. Once again, we would love to know how things turned out for you….Looking forward in reading your updates and your insights…We’ll do the same….Good Luck! Lillian.
Hey Lillian! Thank you for your comment
It is amazing how many people seem to be in the exact same situation, and the reactions I’m getting from this blog never seize to amaze me.
I think your friend did the same mistake I made about 6 years ago. Coincidences linked to him have been happening from the beginning actually, but I can only remember a couple from back in the day, and they were definitely not as shocking and frequent as now. So anyway, about 6 years ago (we had already lost touch at that point for about a year) when something really freaky happened and my immediate reaction was “My God, I must contact him”. So I called him, and of course he totally wasn’t expecting it lol He was nice, but I could tell I took him by surprise, and he never called back. I decided to leave it at that, because I didn’t want to come across as desperate or anything (and I also admit my self-esteem took a big hit). I quickly realized that I had been too impulsive. The whole process that had gone through my head was really just that: something in my head. And I couldn’t expect him to be on the same page at all, especially after not having talked to each other for about a year. People go on with their lives, so I can now see how calling him out of the blue must have raised his eyebrows. And it was silly of me to expect some fairytale reaction from him lol
The “synchronicities” stopped right after that. I decided to move on, and have now gone through 6 years of silence. I moved on with my life, and pretty happily too. And now it suddenly started again, just like that, for no apparent reason. To be honest, my first reaction was to contact him right away. But then I remembered what happened last time, and decided to take my time and consider my options. The poor guy has no clue what’s happening to me lol I can’t expect him to greet me with wide open arms, just because I’m experiencing some freaky coincidences on my side.
So anyway, I don’t know how many times your friend has tried to contact him, and how long ago that was. But I would advise her to take a deep breath, and although it can be hard, not to contact him for now. Because, personally, I feel like I must figure some things out for myself first, and realize that the outcome may not be great at all. So she may want to take some time for herself and figure out where she’s standing before making a move. I think it’s important for us to realize that our reality isn’t necessarily theirs.
I know things won’t magically unfold in a day. It will take time, so patience will be key. I will definitely keep this blog updated every time something new comes up, and hopefully we’ll get it a bit figured out within the next few months lol That’s what I’m hoping anyway.
Cheers to you and your friend!
Karrals
Hello. I hope all is well on your side. Just out of sheer curiousity, I was wondering if by now you have attempted utilizing one of your options listed on your previous blog as far as contacting your friend again?
As far as my friend is concerned I convinced her to call her friend once again. She was tormenting herself more than anything so for her own peace of mind I suggested for her to try contacting him again.
I truly understand how awkward this can be and at no moment am I making light of any situation. I know it is easier said than done however the CONSTANT coincidences seemed to be endless for my girlfriend so I advised her to call and hopefully the coincidences will come to a stop once and for all. We may never obtain the answers explaining all of the signs/coincidences/synchronicities which occur but I figure that by putting our preminitions into actions we may at least have some understanding. I believe the Universe is trying to communicate with us via coincidences placing certain feelings into our hearts and speaking to our minds telling us what we should do despite how illogical the idea may appear to be. We will never know the outcome unless we give it another shot. Better to regret something you’ve done than to live the rest of your life regretting never have given it a try, so try and try until you succeed………… Please keep us posted. Good Luck with everything….Lillian. ; )