Apr 17 2009

Synchronicities replaced by new coincidences

Hi Everyone,

It’s already 2 months later, and our relationship has been moving steadily. Everything feels positive and comfortable. We are opening up to each other more every day, and our public displays of affection have evolved the same.

Back to the synchronicity topic: all coincidences that seemed to be pointing at him prior to us dating have completely vanished. This will probably sound silly, but soon after they disappeared, I realized I was kind of missing them. Even though we were actually together at that point, which was basically my wish coming true. So I really couldn’t complain. But those little winks from fate were so unusual and quirky, it made life seem a bit more magical, so to speak. I went through this “dead” phase soon after we started dating, where I had no more coincidences whatsoever. Mind you, I was on cloud 9 as far as being with him was concerned! And I still am. So I’m not complaining.

That being said, another type of quirky coincidences has started showing up very recently. They’re coincidences about us both. Strange details we have in common. Similar facts and events we’ve both experienced. Identical tastes about certain things that we never knew we had in common. We have more than once met up for a date, accidentally wearing the exact same colors or pattern. We also noticed we were carrying the exact same handkerchief in our right pocket, made out of the exact same fabric with the exact same print, both being gifts from our parents several years ago. Little details like that, which make us giggle and note “this must be fate”.

So, his name popping up everywhere, as well as the other synchronicities I used to experience, have now been replaced by mutual coincidences that involve us both together, which are much more personal and strengthen our bond in the sweetest way. Life is so strange.

Along come certain fears though. Fears of loss, tragedy, death, accidents. Pretty somber thoughts, I know. But I can’t help but wonder why I would deserve all this, and whether I’ll be given lots more years of it, just like that, or if -as in most movies- happiness is always disturbed by an unfortunate event. An event revealing the actual lesson or challenge to accomplish. Hmm.

Or hey, maybe I just watch too much TV. I don’t know, I’ve had that feeling, or rather, that “fear” that something tragic is creeping around the corner for over a week now. Ah, the human mind. Will it ever just feel safe and content?

kgmct837zy

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Feb 15 2009

Our First Kiss

(wink to Anna ;-) -I love that name by the way; so pretty-)

So, my last post was an interesting blend of confusion and frustration … it turned out well a few days later though! He called me on Friday, Feb 13th, to decide about which restaurant I’d like to go to on the 14th (still no mention of the actual word “Valentine”, which I was starting to find a bit amusing). I picked one of the three options he gave me, and he said he would call and make a reservation, since they were most likely going to be full on “that day” LOL The phone call was cute and uplifting, I felt positive again!

He showed up at my door on the 14th with a bunch of roses. I definitely wasn’t expecting that!! Call it cheesy, but I love flowers, and the most important to me was what they represented: he was basically confirming his feelings to me, and I knew right then that I could ditch all the doubts! I told him I had a surprise for him too, but that I’d give it to him later that night …

Then we went to the restaurant, which was lovely! And then we sort of decided to go to his place and have drinks and watch a movie. We watched it right against each other, but I could sense that he was getting all shy again and holding back. I wasn’t feeling it and realized it wasn’t going to happen there. It was already 4am and I needed some sleep anyway. So he drove me back home, escorted me to my door like he always does, I put the key in, and went: “oh, I still have to give you that surprise!” He smiled and blushed, I told him “close your eyes!”. He closed them. And I kissed him.

We ended up kissing and hugging for about 10 or 15 minutes on my front step lol It was pretty intense! The chemistry was out of this world, and oh my God, it was hard to let go, but I had to get in eventually, and his car was still running lol He was basically on cloud 9, and I guess we both looked like we were high on drugs or something, it was really intense.

So that’s about it for Valentine :-) Mission accomplished!! I’ve been feeling all silly happy the whole day and I can’t wait to see him again on Wednesday!

Aaarrghh, thanks again you guys! It’s amazing to look back at my first few posts now LOL I guess the contrast will be even more bizarre in the next few months lol

Anyway, I hope you all had a lovely V-day. And if you didn’t spend it with anyone this year, then say to youself: next year better!

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Feb 12 2009

85 Days Later

Published by Karrals
Filed under After we got back in touch

It’s been 85 days since we got back in touch. Substract about two weeks from that before we actually started dating …

I feel like such a dumbass right now. Last night, I went over to – what I guess you could now call – my boyfriend. Although technically speaking, we have been perfect catholics so far, if you know what I mean. And hell, I don’t even go to church, so I’m not sure why our interactions are so goody-two-shoes. But anyway. We went to his neighborhood, got pizza, then went to his house to watch a movie, then we decided to watch another one, and before you know it, it was past 2am … so then he drove me back home, escorted me to my door like a perfect gentleman, and then nothing. I mean, no kiss or anything. Well, yeah ok, we kissed on the cheek but that’s nothing special. I’m talking about a real kiss here.

So then he left, I went upstairs, crashed on my bed, and felt like a total failure. Why oh why did we not kiss? We have been dating for long enough now, it should have happened already. I try to figure out how we even got this far without any action, but I guess it just sort of happened and now we seem to be stuck in these dynamics. Which I know is totally silly since we’re obviously attracted to each other.

Anyway, I woke up this morning with a vague memory of me sending him a text before I fell asleep. But I was dead tired and had had half a bottle wine, so I couldn’t remember for sure. I checked my phone, and sure enough, there it was in my “sent” box. I clicked to read it, and the damn thing basically included “You’re sweet” … to which I got no response.

WTF is wrong with me? Why did I suddenly think it would be a brilliant idea to send him that? I can’t really blame him for not answering (yet) though, because he’s probably had a severe lack of sleep (he had to get up 3 hours later) and he’s still at work right now. So hey. It’s not a total fiasco just yet.

Of course, if I don’t hear from him by the end of the evening, I’ll feel like a major loser, and I’ll probably end up curling up in my bed and watch a DVD while munching on candy. Because that’s just how I deal, you know. I deal like a pro.

He’s already agreed to go out on Saturday, which happens to be Valentine’s … although neither of us has mentioned the actual occasion. And if he doesn’t text me back or anything by Saturday, I’m probably gonna feel so confused, I won’t even know how to feel about myself.

I’m weird, he’s weird, we’re both weird and I guess we make a weird pair with our weird little quirks and hangups. And I suppose some people could see some beauty in that, and truth be told, I’m actually one of them, but it just doesn’t seem to be the most fulfilling situation to be in right now. It’s a challenge, for sure. I think it’s becoming obvious how ridiculously similar we are … including our shyness when it comes to initiating physical contact. Quite a bad combo, I guess. Although, everything else clicks like it’s never clicked with anyone else before … I just can’t let go at this point.

Of course, there is the option of me just kissing him. I suppose I could have done so last night, because he was clearly hoping for it when he walked me to my door, but I’ve just been so chicken about the whole thing. It’s like I’m gonna pass out if we touch, because the feelings are so overwhelming. I’ve honestly never had this before. Sometimes he looks at me and it’s like my heart is gonna stop beating and I’m gonna die right there, so I end up looking away because I feel like I just can’t take it. Is it even possible to love somebody “too much”? I’m seriously confused, and I’m not sure how to grab myself together and move forward. I just freeze like an idiot. What is wrong with me?

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Jan 08 2009

Quick update about us

Published by Karrals
Filed under After we got back in touch

Hi everyone! I probably should have kept this site updated a little since my last post, but things got so busy. My synchronicity guy and I are sort of a couple now! lolĀ  I say “sort of” because things are progressing slowly. We’ve already been on numerous dates and we really really click! The chemistry is awesome. He also invited me out for New Year’s eve, so we celebrated that together with some of his friends. It was lovely!

It’s no cake walk though. He’s shy and so am I, so we’re kind of struggling our way through these overwhelming feelings right now. Trying to get to the next level so to speak. It really is amazing though. I gotta tell you, I’m so glad I followed my feelings and got back in touch with him. He’s the sweetest, kindest, most gentle man I know. **sigh**

Anyway, just wanted to let you guys know what’s up with me and him! Thanks again for visiting and please do leave comments; I love to read them!

I wish you all the best for 2009!!!

Lots of Love,
K.

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Nov 27 2008

Together At Last

Published by Karrals
Filed under After we got back in touch

Hey you guys! I’ve been living on cloud 9 for a few days now. I finally met up with him!!!

Let me first tell you that when I first saw him again, the butterflies were definitely back. We talked and joked a bit, it was extremely nice, casual, simple, easy, and just all around sweet. It flowed with a lot of ease and we ended up having lunch together that same day.

Ok, here comes the freaky part: it turns out we have VERY similar backgrounds and interests. Went to the same schools, picked the same classes, share similar values and opinions about things, same passions, and the timeline of our lives has some funny coincidences (if you can even still call it that at this point).

We had great chemistry throughout the whole conversation (which lasted almost 2 hours). And while you’d think I left with a super excited feeling, I surprisingly left with an extremely peaceful and calm mind. I was also very confident that this was only the beginning, and I just felt sooo at peace. Can’t really explain it, and this feeling came quite unexpected. I would have assumed I’d be feeling hyper instead, but nope! Contentment and peace it was.

My heart still skips a beat when we look at each other in the eyes, it’s like I could literally get lost in them and die lol So strange! It seems to be likewise for him.

I did not mention any of the coincidences to him yet. I might in a more distant future, but not now. It’s still the early stages, and it’s flowing perfectly without synchronicities being mentioned. I did, however, find out that his last relationship apparently broke off around the time my coincidences started on my side, which is pretty damn freaky. Past relationships will probably be discussed further later on, so sooner or later, I will have the exact timeline of it all figured out. It’s just so strange.

Well, when I started writing this blog a year ago, I refused to get into the whole soulmate subject. But I must admit that I’m slowly starting to think I have indeed found my soulmate. And this sounds corny, but my heart feels like it has come home, and that’s the best way I can describe this feeling. It’s all so weird, I’m gonna need a while to digest it all so I can write a more objective post about this later on.

I just got a message from him on my phone, and it sounds like he’s going to ask me out some time next week or so :-)

PS: my gut feeling about the e-mail turned out to be a life saver. While talking to him, a collegue interrupted us for a second to tell him that they had just found out that their professional e-mails hadn’t worked properly for the past month and so messages weren’t coming through. He shrugged and joked it didn’t matter, since he never checks his anyway. Hah! I’m so glad I did not go the e-mail route.

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